I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
