they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
