And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
