dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize