youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
