New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
