the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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