ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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