Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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