I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There r osticjed everywhere
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
