I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
