i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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