giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize