i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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