Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
