and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
