you traded sex for a burrito?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
