Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
