We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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