Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
