Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
