...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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