They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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