We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
