I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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