I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize