sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize