He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
