pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
