There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
