i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
