So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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