C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
