hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
