Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
