How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
