Buhtt sex?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
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