She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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