Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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