I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
