I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
