Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
