8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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