fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
