Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
