I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
