We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
