The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
