Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
