were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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