look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize