I can't watch pbs sober anymore
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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