You smell like stripper and shame
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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