Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
