Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
