Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
