What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
