TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
