omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
