remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
