Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
