Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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