Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
